Been doing a lot of thinking about friendships and how quickly they can be formed and how even quicker they can fall apart. From an old entry written over a year ago...
Ultimately, a friend is someone who you can lean on for support and they can lean on you. It sounds simple, but that’s all there is to it. And yet, everyone needlessly complicates such a basic premise. Be there for you, I’ll be there for you. I know I’m not the best at forging relationships, but I’m still at quite a loss as to what actually creates lasting bonds. Is it just an innate compatibility among friends? Is it a unique shared experience that binds people together? Or is it something… more?
The best of friends are those who understand me. In other words, they can parse out the bullshit from reality, and force me to deal with issues and events that may otherwise remain buried. I can say whatever I want to them and they won’t get offended or bitchy; instead they’ll throw it right back.
Friendship is not an unwillingness to sacrifice even a second of your time for a friend. It is not the pointless “how was your day?” and “fine” conversations that loveless marriages are made out of. It is not going out together many nights in a row. It is not judging someone time and time again for little reason than spite. It is not an an inability to recognize when friends are going through a rough time.
Friendship is sacrificing time for a friend, because they need you. It is the 2 a.m. conversations where all is laid bare. It is spending a minute, a day, a month with them merely because you know that it’ll be a good night as long as they’re with you. It is dispensing objective advice without scorn, even though it is likely that said advice will never be followed. It is an unconscious ability and willingness to
ask, “what’s wrong” even if they’re aren’t shouting their feelings from the rooftops.
Friendships are what they are. Hold on to the ones you have, and try and nurture a few more while you’re at it. Life is too short to waste on lifeless nights, dull conversations, and false friends.
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2 comments:
I ask myself these questions too.
Some answers here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interpersonal_attraction
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_bonding
<< The best of friends are those who understand me. In other words, they can parse out the bullshit from reality, and force me to deal with issues and events that may otherwise remain buried. I can say whatever I want to them and they won’t get offended or bitchy; instead they’ll throw it right back. >>
I've been told that I'm an excellent filter for cool people because I seem to be good at offending the offendible.
I always motivated by you, your opinion and attitude, again, appreciate for this nice post.
- Joe
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